Twilight Forums

Sanjuro wrote:It's also automatically started up the penultimate item in your queue. Because it's the future!

I actually meant "it's" as in "it has" there. I think I'm okay, but... its and it's

Cheers!
Kinak

In computer lab when decrypting a disk:

Note you won't make any progres on the decryption until Vlad's Decryptonomicon software is running.

Also, might want a : after note or change to "Note that".

Added s and that, for clarity. Thanks!

Whoops, just noticed this one today. One of the deranged quester's miss messages:
The adventure has a hypothesis that, if he hits you hard enough, loot will pop out.

missing an R there

Typos pop out! Fixed, thanks!

Attempting to use the Psychic Heckling opening against a robot:
Trying to heckel the servant robot is like arguing with your computer at work... momentarily satisfying but ultimately fruitless.
"heckle"

EDIT: To erfMortium, it appears that "fanservice" is correct:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Fanservice

Fixed, thanks! Also, I didn't notice if fanservice was marked upthread but I usually see it without the space now.

Casting a spell with Chlorine Lad's ladel ladle:
You send out a pulse of mental anguish, dealing 24 damage to anything in the area.
The contents of Chlorine Lad's ladel put the worst institutional lunches to shame, dealing your opponent 3 damage.

Ladled out a fix.

Here is one of the angry rioter's miss messages:
Your opponent attacks ... You wouldn't like me when I get angry," the rioter says.
"You're already angry," you point out.
"Huh, you're right." The guy takes a while to sort that out.

That first line looks like it's missing a quotation mark.

Quotationed!

When using the independent throwdown, there is an extra "damage" after the sonic damage:
You throw down the throwdown, dealing the buzzing swarm 27 damage damage with its thunderous peal. Wow, they've really improved these since you were a kid.

Threwdown on some typos. Thanks!

Attacking while Seeing Double:
You attack ... you're stilling seeing double, so you decide to aim for the one on the right...

Stilled!

Virtual Lad's goggles:

full of then-high tech doodads and wizzbang gimgrackery.

Should be gimcrackery.

Fixed! In other news, grimcrackery isn't just a word Cris made up.

You carefully remove the foil wrapping. Man, the \"good ol\' days\" certainly had tiny packs of gum.

backslashes.

Patojonas wrote:

You carefully remove the foil wrapping. Man, the \"good ol\' days\" certainly had tiny packs of gum.

backslashes.

Deslashed!

Using the Whipping Winds opening:
While the mob instigator is picking himself off the ground, you can plenty of time to whip the hot desert air into a dust devil...

You're right, canning time is too much. We'll find it instead.

I'm still seeing that typo.

While the Pax Verde operative is picking himself off the ground, you can plenty of time to whip the hot desert air into a dust devil...

Sorry about that. Typo was in two places.

Forgot to mention this. In the Heirloom Derby awards messages, in some of them, the word 'quite' is italicized, and in some of them it isn't.

Clicking the link to add shelves to your mall store:

Somebody at City Hall tipped off the Twilight Carpenters' Union, Local 408, that you were thinking about doing some renovations to your shop. From what the papers say, the union has been locked in negotiations with the City over the proliferation of DIY permits among residents in Sommeset. Nobody can remember when the talks started, but the union has been work-to-rule since, and the City has been unable to grant any permits for scab-work. The Local 408 has sent a representative to talk to you about "your needs."

With a confident swagger the Union Rep walks into your shop and looks around the place without caring that you are there. After he grunts and makes a few notes in a pad he pushes the pencil behind his ear. When he finally talks to you its close and its business. His nicotine breath is only a few inches from your nose. He says, "Looks like you already have 20 shelves. If you're gonna want 10 more it's gonna costa ya, bub."

He issues you a stack of forms that look like a contract. Bobbing a meaty finger over a line at the bottom he says, "Sign here."

You look at the price and hope the strike ends soon.

"Somerset"?
"it's"?
"it's"?
"cost"?
"a stack" "looks"?

Renovated the text. Thanks!

Feh. Subject-verb agreement rules lead to weird things. Yes, look should probably be plural since stack is a plural noun, even though we're talking about a single stack. The problem is, when you say it out loud, "He issues you a stack of forms that looks like a contract," it just sounds weird.

Of course, this is where I'd probably cheat and just rewrite the damn thing to keep the intent but dodge the rule.

Cristiona wrote:Feh. Subject-verb agreement rules lead to weird things. Yes, look should probably be plural since stack is a plural noun, even though we're talking about a single stack. The problem is, when you say it out loud, "He issues you a stack of forms that looks like a contract," it just sounds weird.

Of course, this is where I'd probably cheat and just rewrite the damn thing to keep the intent but dodge the rule.

The answer to most rules in the English language: "avoid X because you'll have to choose between being wrong and sounding dumb."

Cheers!
Kinak

Just noticed this one today, in the description for the multiversal derringer:
Even though it's tiny and doesn't have any noticiable recoil, this alien weapon is as dangerous as it is fashionable.

"noticeable"

Thanks for... um... noticing...?

Multi-consuming cherry gelatin:
You eat half of the available gelatin and think you're getting full, but after a moment's introspection you realize there's room for more and finish the rest it.

Missing an "of" between "rest" and "it".

Fixed the rest of it.

From the description of the extra-dimensional taffy puller:
... which means you can use this handy little device can fold, spindle, and mutilate reality.

"to"?

Antifolded, unspindled, and demutilated.

*with an deft flick of the wrist, you pull <foe> in x different directions at once, making him yelp in '''X different languages'''.

Miss message doesn't need fixing in there

Fixed it with an deft flick of my keyboard. Thanks!

Eating metal gear salad:
They always say to eat your greens. You're not quite so sure on the silvers, but figure you might as well eat those too.

"slivers"?

Sanjuro wrote:Eating metal gear salad:
They always say to eat your greens. You're not quite so sure on the silvers, but figure you might as well eat those too.

"slivers"?

I assumed it's a color thing: green (salad), silver (metal).

Yeah, it's supposed to be silvers. Just, you know, maybe not my best joke

Cheers!
Kinak

Using the new SQUID disc:
You watch the SQUID disc and immediately regret it. It\'s a huge scary world out there...

Curse you it's and it\'s! Curse yooooooooooou!

One of the phonophobic rocker's miss messages:
She tries to play something, but her hoard of screaming fans drown it out.

I looked it up. According to my dictionary, a hoard is "a stock or store of money or valuable objects, typically one that is secret or carefully guarded".
A horde is "a large group of people (chiefly derogatory)".

Thinned out the rocker's hoard a little bit. Thanks!

One of the pyrophobic flamethrower's miss messages:
The flamethrower tries to throw flame at you, but suffers an bout of fear instead, followed by an existential crisis.

EDIT: Also, one of the electrophobic transformer's miss messages:
The transformer reaches out a wire to shake your hand, but you find it's can't transform electricity into joy.
Um, "its""it".

Fixed, thanks! Yeah, I'm mixing things up. Next I'll be swapping in 'tis for it's!

One of the thug's hit messages:
He slugs you with his baseball bat. While you write in pain he takes a lap around some imaginary bases.
"writhe"?

Can't blame me for that one! Fixed.

You have a billboard covered with subtly incorrect scientific facts and misued equations. That... seems dangerous.

misused?

From the description of the ff0000 pill:
Or, you know, it'll heal like. Like every red pill in every game ever.

"you"?

Fixed!

EDIT: I have decided to use FF0000 from now on.

Yay!

From the description of the traumophobic neanderthal:
After a hundred thousand years in the big giant hole in ice, this costume contains many of the Neaderthals' powers.
Missing an "n" in there.
Also, is there supposed to be a "the" between "in" and "ice"? Or is that supposed to mimic the foe's speech patterns?

Fixed! And "big giant hole in ice" is a specific joke, yes.

Patojonas wrote:

You have a billboard covered with subtly incorrect scientific facts and misued equations. That... seems dangerous.

misused?

*bump*

Sorry about that, should be good now.

Using the 0000ff pill:

You choose the ff0000 pill...

and Multi-using 0000ff pills:

You choose the ff0000 pills...

No I didn't! I chose the 0000ff pill(s) !

Now I kind of want to watch that movie. "Red, I meant red! Huh?" *goes back to work*

Your 2 micromillipantss have been moved to your storage area

Pantses, precious.

He takes a small crystal form his pocket and throws it at your feet, causing an explosion

should be "from". This is what happens when people don't check me for typos, sorry Kinak

It's alright, it's nice to have company!

I don't know how long it's been like this, but from the "(Jekyll and) Hyde Park" page, you can visit "Teeter Streer".

Set it street, thanks!