Which useless superpower would you have?

[Hannahmaus]

I want "Communicate with fruit", I don't even think it's useless - that would be awesome. As would "seduce hats", as they always play hard to get.

[Corrupt Shadow]

Invisibility in the dark... it's still invisibility.

[Ryme]

Do I have to pick from the sheet? Because personally I've always wanted super-analogy powers: the ability to always have a fantastic analogy for the thing you're trying to explain.

If it's from the sheet, 1-second super strength would still be pretty handy, super slow-mo would get you paid for parlor tricks, and desaturation would just be fun.

[Cristiona]

I like 1 second super strength. Also, control remote control. Could really mess with the TVs at bars.

[Lxndr]

"Know thyself." I pick read your own mind.

[Muhandes]

Absorb bad luck is something one could get paid really well for.
Off-list my superpower would be procrastination. I do it pretty well as it is, but not in the super level.

[Patojonas]

75% levitation

Would be able to hover over water, how cool is that? Jesus did it looool

[Kurg]

That's hilarious.

Communicating with fruit and reviving dead bugs doesn't sound so useless - could set up a nice 'organic' farm/orchard, chat with your fruits to make them grow healthier(some people actually believe this to work, I think), revive the dead 'good' bugs(bees and a few others, the ones that actually help agricolture).
Insect-resurrection also pretty sweet if you're an entomologist. Also, if some people keep insects as pets, you could become the best(...possibly the only) insect veterinarian/doctor EVER.

Trash detection isn't shabby either if you want to be a (super)janitor or care a lot about cleanliness

[xKiv]

Hmm ... trash detection would allow me to clean my room better (and make me clean it more often).
1-second superstrength is still useful (punches take less than 1 second; so does hitting things with a sledge hammer.

Also, re: bad luck absorption: see ensign Red Shirt in Legostar Galactica

[Corrupt Shadow]

This thread reminds me of a blog I used to read. The blogger kind of just stopped one day.

http://superuseless.blogspot.com/

[AldenteVonTino]

Insect-resurrection also pretty sweet if you're an entomologist. Also, if some people keep insects as pets, you could become the best(...possibly the only) insect veterinarian/doctor EVER.

I wouldn't mind reviving bugs! Think of the insecturrection! (insurrection by insects? Mwahaha?)

Because personally I've always wanted super-analogy powers: the ability to always have a fantastic analogy for the thing you're trying to explain.

Now THIS would be awesome!

[Olaf]

You know how people are always bashing Aquaman for having useless powers?
Ran across this.

Seemed to fit with this community in particular.

[Cristiona]

Yeah, but once Cthulhu leaves the water, Aquaman's SOL.

[Lxndr]

Aquaman's powers aren't necessarily useless as completely cross-purpose with, say, the rest of the justice league / superfriends.
They always needed to find some reason for him to go in the water, so he could have equal billing.

[Lxndr]

I would love Aquaman's powers. Diving to any depth without scuba gear. Seeing underwater without a mask. Summoning giant squid to capsize whaling boats. Eating fresh salmon and all the pearls and sunken treasure you want!

Agreed. They're very useful, just not so much in a crimefightery role.
That's why he deserves his own stories.

[AldenteVonTino]

Just a random bump, and on topic, too:
I already have a Super Power: Thread Killing Emoticon Activation! Just one too many can kill many threads!

[zyborg]

Invisibility in the dark would be awesome. I'd be a ninja! Also, reading my own mind would be helpful against villains with 'suggestion' powers. I can make sure my thoughts are my thoughts.

[Lxndr]

There's an rpg called "stuporpowers" that has quite a list of amusing powers, most of which are apparently considered useless.

But one of them seems amazing:

"Move target's erogenous zone ANYWHERE."

The illustration implies that it could be put on the forehead, an elbow, or a mailbox.

It might not be useful for crimefighting, but it would be useful more generally.

[AldenteVonTino]

(Psssttt...
This is the actual Hero, Aldente! My user that uses that name on these forums is away for a moment and I need to talk to you while he's gone!
He don't know it but he IS an actual, real life super hero. Every day he's displaying things most people in the world forget about, or take advantage of, or take for granted or even take away from others.
See, every day he takes that second or two as he would walk when/if he noticed a car was needing to make a turn and he would be slowing them down! As he walks up to a door at K-Mart or Wallyworld he looks around to see if anyone else is approaching the door. Even from the inside! Why one time he even added a little girl's ice cream she wanted that she barely had enough for (missing tax). We won't even get into what he tries to do here on the internet! (The poor fool JUST opened an account on YouTube! Lord help the world! It's under AVTino, if your curious. Glad he only has the one video uploaded, I"m trying hard to keep THAT in check!)
Yeah, he's a Super Hero, no doubt about it. He tries hard to inspire hope, faith, love, joy, happiness, freedom and trust within anyone and everyone he meets. Even online.
Shhhhhh! He's coming back, so I have to go! Remember, please don't tell him, ok? If you do, I'll have to wipe his memory of having read your post, and he forgets enough normal things already!
See ya! Shhhhhhhhh!)