Chuck Norris

[Carygon Nijax]

Dude that card must be POWERFUL

[Sanjuro]

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, never ask for his three-hole punch.

Well-known fact: In the movie Invasion U.S.A, Chuck Norris single-handedly defeated a Soviet invasion of the United States of America.
Lesser-known fact: The movie Invasion U.S.A. was a documentary.

Chuck Norris can shoot six Uzis at the same time: one in each hand, one in each foot, one with his beard, and he roundhouse kicks the sixth one until it spins around in the air shooting bullets.

I have no idea why I like these jokes.

[Sanjuro]

The last number of the Fibonacci sequence is the amount of power -in Joules- a roundhouse kick of Chuck Norris can deliver

Joules are units of energy. Watts (which are Joules per second) are units of power. Apparently, Chuck Norris can change any scientific units he wants.

Anyway, here's some more of my faves:

The real reason human cloning is outlawed is the possibility of one Chuck Norris roundhouse kick meeting another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Scientists theorize that such an event would end the universe.

Chuck Norris once crashed his car into a bus filled with nuns. Nine months later, those nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated team in NFL history.

Philosophers and theologians have often pondered the existence of the human soul. Well, it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

Someone once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is Charles. Chuck Norris just stared at him until the curious fellow exploded.