10th Anniversary Enemy Contest

[Kinak]

With Twilight Heroes hitting ten years old, a lot of the faces in zones are like old friends. You know the road-enraged bike courier's favorite coffee shop. You remember the unidentifiable english king's run for mayor. And the giant avian taught you your ABCs.

But it's also fun to see some new faces now and again. So, what do you say? Who (or what) would you like to see on the streets of Twilight?

What's this?
It's a contest! You submit your new enemies, we include the best in the game, and the folks who submitted the ones included get prizes.

To make things a little more interesting, let's have three categories. You can submit one enemy in each, so choose wisely:

• Nearby - Any zone within Somerset Square, University Heights, or the Seedy Casinos
• Unclose - Any zone in Bayside, Downtown, or Industrial
• Far Away - Anywhere from Out in the Desert, Hyde Park, or Up in the Mountains (or... other places even further away)

What do I need?
Depends how much you want. You definitely need the location and the name of the enemy. If the enemy idea is hilarious on its own, feel free to leave it brief.

For example:
Neighborly and Neighboring Neighborhood - a mailman
Rooftops of Downtown - rabid pogoer
Rejected Rogue Ranch - typically temperamental tuna

If you want to write up the enemy's little intro, go for it. Attacks and drops are probably overkill, but if you want to make sure I don't miss a joke, do what you have to do.

How long do I have?
The contest will close November 17th and I'll announce winners in the podcast after that.

How do I post?
There's an option to create an account for the forums. But, after you do, contact Kinak in game to have that account activated.

Where to I ask other questions?
Right in this thread! And I'll edit them into this if I just missed something silly.

Cheers!
Kinak

[darkzumi]

NOTE!: The descriptions are only ideas, since you (Kinak) can probably think of wittier and "punnier" content, feel free to junk them.

Nearby
Death's Gambit; zone: Seedy Casinos
You are fighting a Death's Gambit. He's dressed all in black, he's on a winning streak, and everything is coming up aces. Think you know the odds of defeating him? Care to make a friendly wager on that? Spoiler Alert: It's a long shot.

Unclose
Peaceful "Protestor"; zone: Downtown
You are fighting a Peaceful "Protestor". This guy is standing up for the poor and oppressed, and fighting extremism (while wearing expensive sneakers by Notkes, drinking pricey Farbucks coffee, and texting on his fancy uPhone made by Crapple). His chosen method for doing so is by destroying all businesses and property in the Downtown area, with extreme prejudice. Anyone (ie: you!) that tries to stop him must LITERALLY be Hitler. Anyone who disagrees with him will be stopped with extreme violence. You'd point out the hypocrisy of all of this to him, but he's busy peacefully trying to bash your head in with a pipe.

Far Away
Sadistic Seditious Socialist; zone: Rejected Rogue Ranch

[Iggy]

Nearby
Neighboring And Neighborly Neighborhood

Pizza Delivery Boy

You are fighting a Pizza Delivery Boy.
He introduces himself as Mr Boy, The Gastronomic Disbursement Specialist.

Your opponent attacks...

Hit messages:

The delivery boy glares at you, projecting unsettling self-loathing, causing X slime damage.
He throws a Friday Night Special at you, resulting in burning grease dripping down your face, causing X fire damage
He presses his personal alarm and screams like an eight year-old, causing X sonic damage.

Miss messages:

He throws a chip from his shoulder, but it veers wildly off course, splattering against a manhole cover marked 122 1/8.
Angry at his crappy tips, he throws a pocket full of copper at you. The insufficient funds fail to meet their mark.
He uses his cellphone to call for reinforcements, but is delayed by an endless array of automated voice options.

Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit!
He throws a seeping side order of Reaper Pepper goujons from his portable hydrator, causing X acid damage.

Fumble message:
Your foe fumbles!
His ex-maths teacher stops by and berates him for wasting his potential. He takes X Psychic damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

[Iggy]

Unclose
Cube Theater

Threesome Of Failed Talent Show Wannabees


They yelp "you don't know what real talent is," and pelt you with their remaindered CDs, causing X physical damage.

They subject you to sob stories about medical costs for their grandmama's 27 year-old blind moggie, causing X psychic damage.

They screech the words to Sweet Child O' Mine, causing your ears to bleed for X sonic damage.

[zatade]

Nearby

Cannonball Tavern - Self-Righteous Teetotaler - Quietly sipping a root beer, the teetotaler waits for an opening in the fight.

Unclose

The Docks - Wharf Rat - Beady eyes constantly twitch, watching for a ship to sneak aboard.

Far Away

Castle Hundenswein - Grease Monkey - Carrying a left handed monkey wrench, looking for a nut to tighten.

Zatade

[Sanjuro]

* Cannonball Tavern: pickled potter and potted pickler

By day, he works in a pickle factory, and by night he drinks beer from a microbrewery called Pete's. If the potted pickler picks some pints of Pete's Porter, how many pints of Pete's Porter will the potted pickler potate? I guess you'll never find out because he stumbled into you and spilled his drinks. Now he's about to punch a paragon of pluck and puissance (namely, you).

(and then some kind of Harry Potter reference for the pickled potter?)
EDIT: This guy has had a hard life. He grew up thinking he was going to be a wizard, until he found out he was destined to make pottery instead. Now he slaves away at his pottery wheel making cheap knick-knacks for a flea market on Yang Boulevard. (EDIT 2: He doesn't even make much money at it because thieves keep stealing most of his stock.) Tonight he's going to take out his frustrations on you.

* Yang Boulevard: Donkey Tong member (image of one of the evil tong members from Big Trouble in Little China?)

Apparently, one of the tongs in this part of town has a donkey for a mascot. And now one of them is protecting his tong's territory by climbing a building and rolling barrels at you.
drops salad tongs (+vegetable drops)

[The Leopard]

Neighboring and neighborly neighborhood: serial jaywalker: Jaywalking may not be the most serious offense, but this guy takes it to a new level, walking in and out of traffic causing a public hazard.

Porcelain Bay: oyam: This monstrous cross between an oyster and a clam definitely isn't happy.
(Hit message: The foe cries "Oyam what oyam and that's all that oyam! and with newfound strength hits you for X damage.)

Castle Hundenswein: cuckoo clockmaker: No, this foe doesn't make cuckoo clocks. He's a regular clockmaker who's gone mad repairing all this crazy machinery.

[Kinak]

Thanks for the entries everyone! I'll be going over them and announcing the winners on the next podcast!

Cheers!
Kinak

[Iggy]

Ha! I can never workout, here or elsewhere, if "ends on X date" means morning rollover or evening rollover. in any case...

Far Away
Rejected Rogue Ranch

Cannibalistic Coulrophobic Clown
Sawney The Clown hates himself, but he loves visitors who find his cave.

Hit messages:
He shoots you with his cotton candy gun
He clocks you with his cooking cauldron

Miss messages:
He attempts an attack, but your superhero tights leaves him in stitches.
He stares you in the eye, but recoils with repulsion from his repellent reflection.

[Iggy]

HuRR! HuRR!

I loves me the booty! As a kid back in Canada, I kept a list of pizza delivery numbers by my phone and all but banned anyone from calling a certain pizza joint that had the same phone number no matter where in the country you called from. Their "pizza" was so bad, most of it would end up stuck to the ceiling or chucked out the window.